Copying Brittany... :)

Apparently, I am like Alice...

Take the Quiz and Share Your Results!

 You are intelligent, outgoing & stylish.  A true girly girl, you love shopping & makeovers.   

 Although you are a generous friend, you can be coy, tricky & very persuasive in order to

 get your way.  You are known to zone out occasionally during conversations, but your

 friends forgive you because you are understanding, supportive & know how to throw one

 heck of a party!

Riley

My dog, Riley, died yesterday.  He got hit by a car, and it was the end of his short eight year life.  I will miss him very much.

To lose a pet is a difficult thing.  I have spent all day thinking about him, crying over his death.  He was a pet, but also a companion.  I loved him.  He meant so much to me.  It is hard to know that I'll never see him again.  He was a loyal friend that I could always turn to.  His love was unconditional.  When I had a problem and no one I could talk to, or at least no one I cared to talk to, I could always count on Riley to just sit with me.  He offered me the comfort that no human ever could.  He was truly a best friend.  

All I have left now are memories.  And, to be honest, it's not enough.  It's just not good enough.  I won't ever be able to pet him, to play with him, to cuddle with him.  He meant a lot to me, and I don't know if anyone will ever realize what it means to me that he is no longer in my life.  I am now forced to make those memories be enough.  I'll try to be thankful for them, and remember that he was such an amazing part of my life for the last eight years.  

His relative youth and good health caused me to take his life for granted.  Never would I have imagined that when I came home today I would receive such awful news.  It was shocking and horrible.  

I will miss you, Riley.  You were a wonderful dog and a dear, dear friend.  I loved you so much and I will never forget you.

Big Messy Christmas Shopping Frenzy

Please get me out of this retail Christmas nightmare.  As I type this, I am shopping.  I haven't stopped shopping since the first of December.  The keyword here is "shopping", not buying.  No, no.  I have not bought a single item.

I feel like I'm trapped in a whirlwind of deals and sales, coupons and discounts, special offers and one day only prices.  Where does the madness of the beautiful holiday end?!  There's no mercy!

I know this isn't what Christmas is all about, believe me, I know.  However, I, and every other red-blooded American have been so brainwashed and programmed into believing that gifts are a necessary part of it all, that there is really no going back.  It's just the way it is.

So, here's where I'm at:  lost in a sea of shopping with no presents to show for it.  The temptation to disregard all prices and sales has crossed my mind so many times.  However, my Jewish tendencies (oddly, the part of me that would not be celebrating Christmas...hmmm) have stopped me from that.  Unfortunately, this Jew gene also drives me to seek out any and all possible offers that exist in the online world.  My eyes are now trained to look for the red numbers and lettering (sale item) and the percentage sign (discount).  Each offer has its perks and benefits.  My head becomes a calculator, adding taxes and shipping, while subtracting any promotional discounts.  

The key, the real key is to look for the best possible product at the lowest possible price.  That's what we all want, right?  Of course.  And if only the lowest priced item was also the best quality, life would be simple and pleasing.

But, it's not.

I suppose I am going to just have to suck it up, compromise.  I'll take the best offer I can get, before I drive myself crazy.  It's really not about me, anyway.  Giving gifts is about how the person feels when you give him or her that special gift.  In the end, it's not going to matter how hard you tried to find the best deal or length of time you spent looking or even how much you spent.  If you can make someone happy, it will be worth it.  At least that is how I am going to TRY to look at it.  I really can't go on obsessing over these things...

Good luck with your Christmas shopping, everyone. 

Living in the Moment (in a totally different way than that phrase is usually connotes)

At this very moment, I can say that I am completely happy with my life.  I am glad to think it and write it down.  All the little worries and problems (believe me, they are abundant) in my life are currently being totally overshadowed by all the positive, amazing things going on.  I love it!

It's good to be glad.  Like I said, I'm happy for the moment, and who knows how long the moment lasts.  The strange thing about a "moment" is that it isn't well-defined.  It's different than a minute or a day.  It is difficult to say how much time you'll be in the moment.  Who knows?  I don't, but I'm living it up, because life is working for me.  I'm soaking this up for as long as I can.

I must say that I appreciate the change of pace.  So much of our college years is just stress, followed by rough times, followed by doom and gloom.  Maybe it's just me...?  I couldn't be more grateful for the boom of good times and smiles.

Long live happiness!  Long live the moment!

Who's in Control Now?!?!

If I could have one super power, what would it be?  SEEING THE FUTURE.

Hands down, this is what I would choose.  And, the reason I'm writing this isn't because of some fourth grade-esque journal writing assignment.  It is simply this:  If I could actually see the future, I would feel so much more in control of my life.  Whether or not I would TRULY be in control is yet to be determined.

I don't know how many times I have begged, "God, please, please, please just let me see how my life is going to end up, even just a two-second flash or glimpse into my future would be good enough for me", or something to that affect.  Time and time again, I have been denied this luxury.  I'm trying to come to the conclusion that it's never going to happen.  I'm going to forever live not knowing where I'm going in life.

It's not that I don't have anything to live for now, because I do.  I just don't know what steps to take to end up where I need to be.  I guess, when I put it that way, my logic is all flawed.  Nothing is certain, and I suppose you could say you have to make goals out of everything.  Usually, we just don't consciously do this.  

It's difficult for me to make what ever is to come in my life into a giant goal.  How can one even attempt that?  "Oh, well, my goal is to have six children and live in a two-story home near Cape Cod.  So, I mean, it's my goal."  That just sounds outlandish to me.  You cannot make a "goal" out of everything.  UGHHH!  I am so frustrated trying to work this out in my mind.

I guess I am asking for information not meant for me.  I believe that I have free will to make the choices I want to make.  I also believe that God knows what choices I will make and how my life will turn out.  So, in asking to know the future, I am asking to know what God knows, which is ridiculous.  I cannot expect to be God or have his knowledge.  If I were FULLY in control of my life, and only did things according to what my predetermined future would be, then...I guess I wouldn't really be in control at all.

It's interesting, I guess when it comes down to it, the only way to be in control of your life is to not know how it will turn out.  Hmmm.  What a great system.

Complexity of Laughter

I was explaining to someone my scale of online laughing.  I have explained it before, but here it is, in summary:

Haha=I acknowledge that you are saying something meant to be humorous.  I may or may not find it funny, but I'm letting you know, that I know, that you think it's funny.

Hahah=I actually find what you said to be amusing.  I definitely laughed, but it may or may not have been out loud.

Hahahahhah (or some form of multiple hahas)=This means that you have made me laugh, out loud.  I am possibly cracking up.  Ending in an 'h' indicates a heartier laugh, as I was clearly laughing so hard, that I have completely disregarded the correct spelling of the word 'haha'.

Hah=This one is complicated because it has so many meanings.  The first is, what you said was not intended to be humorous and I don't know what else to say, therefore the 'hah' becomes a filler.  The second, you have said something meant to be funny, but I don't find it funny--at all.  It can also be used when I am laughing at some sort of pun that is worth a chuckle at its clever, yet dumb nature.

Ha=You are trying to be funny, and I just don't care to humor you, yet cannot disregard your attempt.

Other Internet Laughing

There are other forms of laughing I OCCASIONALLY use on the internet, however, I rarely veer from the "Haha System":

LOL:  Used quite rarely by me, partially as a reaction to the LOL epidemic sweeping my generation.  

Example--"john that is like soooo funny lol. i can't believe u ate that lol.  lol ur crazy lol."

Another reason not to use "LOL"?  If someone says something, and you respond "Laugh out loud", what you generally mean is, "Laughing out loud".  As in, I am laughing out loud right now at your hilarious comment.  Therefore LOL is gramatically incorrect, and I just can't have that.  Sometimes, I will resort to LingOL to fix this problem, or I will simply tell someone that I am "actually laughing out loud".  Yes, I realize that this is defeating the purpose of the shorthand, but it makes me feel better and I will continue to say it as I see fit.

Lastly, and probably most importantly, if you say to someone "LOL" and you have not, in fact, laughed out loud, you are a liar.  Period.  Try and live with that.

Jaja:  Spanish version of "haha".  Used when I am feeling exotic.

COTI:  Chuckling On The Inside.  A much more acceptable version of the "LOL" because it is telling the truth.  No need to hide your true reaction through false acronyms.  Just tell the world that their jokes were funny enough to cause a chuckle on the inside, but certainly not enough to warrant laughing aloud.

And, that, is the complexity of laughing.  No joke.

Has Judgment Day Arrived? Didn't Think So...

I'm angry.

Why is it that "liberal" people are constantly telling conservatives, especially conservative Christians, that they can't believe what they do?

Liberal minded individuals always remind us to be open and tolerant--something they most certainly are not!  Sure, they are open and tolerant to the things they think are okay, but are they tolerant of people who believe homosexuality is wrong, abortion should be illegal and the belief that Jesus is the only way to salvation?!  No, they are definitely not open to that.

My fury was fueled by a "status" on Facebook of a gay friend.  It said he was "tired of bigots".  Hmmm...yet, who is the bigot?

Bigots believe their way is superior to all other ways.  They believe their way is the only way.  Also, bigots are prejudice and intolerant of others.  Hmmmm, I can see the connection between the words "bigot" and "Christian".  However, are "liberal thinkers" not also bigots by this definition?  They view the world in many shades of gray, believing that no one way is the right way...but isn't this a belief in and of itself?  They are opposed to those who believe there is only one truth, not many different truths.  They scoff at those who hold the opposite opinion.  They think the only right way is to believe that no one way is the right way.  

So, can either groups truly call each other bigots?  I don't think so.

On another related note, I am tired of being made to feel that my views are mean, unfair, "old school", intolerant or just plain stupid.  I disagree and also think it is wrong to accuse me of holding "bad beliefs".  So what if I think homosexuality is a matter of one's surroundings more than a matter of genetics?  So what if I believe a fetus is a baby and should have a right to life?  Why do these things have to be constantly criticized?  Yet, if I were to bring up my criticisms, I would be made to look like a fool or a bad person?  In fact, I am afraid to tell people with opposing viewpoints my views, because I don't want to upset them.  I know how they will react.

It's unjust and I am tired of it.  I want to stand up for what I believe in, and not feel as though I am being judged for it.  I try not to judge others, and I would appreciate it if people would do the same for me.  No one can judge us, but God.  And until that day comes, I would like it if people would save their critiques of my life and everyone else's.

And, by the way, all of this most definitely makes it possible to have the gay friend that I do have.  I'm not judging him as an individual, but still find his way of life to be wrong.  However, I won't ridicule him for that.  I must command the same respect from him as well, and if he tries to tell me my way of thinking is wrong...well, we're going to have to have a few words.