Who's in Control Now?!?!

If I could have one super power, what would it be?  SEEING THE FUTURE.

Hands down, this is what I would choose.  And, the reason I'm writing this isn't because of some fourth grade-esque journal writing assignment.  It is simply this:  If I could actually see the future, I would feel so much more in control of my life.  Whether or not I would TRULY be in control is yet to be determined.

I don't know how many times I have begged, "God, please, please, please just let me see how my life is going to end up, even just a two-second flash or glimpse into my future would be good enough for me", or something to that affect.  Time and time again, I have been denied this luxury.  I'm trying to come to the conclusion that it's never going to happen.  I'm going to forever live not knowing where I'm going in life.

It's not that I don't have anything to live for now, because I do.  I just don't know what steps to take to end up where I need to be.  I guess, when I put it that way, my logic is all flawed.  Nothing is certain, and I suppose you could say you have to make goals out of everything.  Usually, we just don't consciously do this.  

It's difficult for me to make what ever is to come in my life into a giant goal.  How can one even attempt that?  "Oh, well, my goal is to have six children and live in a two-story home near Cape Cod.  So, I mean, it's my goal."  That just sounds outlandish to me.  You cannot make a "goal" out of everything.  UGHHH!  I am so frustrated trying to work this out in my mind.

I guess I am asking for information not meant for me.  I believe that I have free will to make the choices I want to make.  I also believe that God knows what choices I will make and how my life will turn out.  So, in asking to know the future, I am asking to know what God knows, which is ridiculous.  I cannot expect to be God or have his knowledge.  If I were FULLY in control of my life, and only did things according to what my predetermined future would be, then...I guess I wouldn't really be in control at all.

It's interesting, I guess when it comes down to it, the only way to be in control of your life is to not know how it will turn out.  Hmmm.  What a great system.