I love Facebook. There are so many great reasons to have an account with this site. I get to keep up with old friends, easily share photos and quickly send and receive messages. As an avid Facebook user, however, there are times when I feel a little overwhelmed with the content I am consuming. I start to question why some of the people I have listed as "friends" are even connected to my account. We've all gone on a deleting spree, a friend clean sweep, if you will. I must admit that there were several people I didn't know by name and profile picture alone. If you can't identify a person on first glance, chances are you shouldn't be "friends" with them.

However, don't you feel like there are certain people you just cannot bring yourself to do delete? I do. Here are my should, but can't, delete Facebook friends:

1. People from High School

Ugh, there have been several times I have come upon an old high school classmate's profile and thought, "Why am I even friends with you on here? We weren't even friends in real life, nor do we ever communicate via the internet. I barely ever even look at your page." And yet, these people go undeleted. Why? I can't 100% sure, but I think it is a mixture of a few elements. For one thing, I feel guilty deleting a high school classmate. I mean, I DO know the person. And, I probably spoke more words to them than I did some of the randoms I have on my list from college classes. Part of it is probably the satisfaction I get from knowing my life is going better than theirs, or at least I make myself feel that way by laughing at their dumb pictures and wallposts. And of course there are a few of these high school classmates who's lives seem to be awesome, and well, I just want to stalk and envy them to be honest. I think that the difficulty in deleting high school people from Facebook stems from the insecure feelings I had in high school. At least now, 5 years later, I am "virtually popular" with people. I hope that last part isn't a big part of how I feel, because after using the term "virtually popular", I feel like a virtual loser.

2. People with Enraging Status Updates

This sounds so counterintuitive, but it is so true. I find it extremely difficult to delete people who drive me crazy with their status updates. One fellow in particular, we'll just call him "Orange Shorts" has the most outrageous, ridiculous statements constantly filling my newsfeed. I can't stand what he has to say, and I almost always think his opinions are idiotic. For some strange reason though, I can't seem to cut the cord.

3. People I think I can "Network" With Later

I put network in quotations, because I think I really mean, "use". There are certain people who I know are in my field. I know some people could be a possible asset to my future, so I keep these people on my friend list. Funny though, it seems that these people are always annoying and some of the first people I forget about out in Facebook land...well, see ya when I need ya, suckers!

Well, I'm too tired to write more write now. I'll write more later. Maybe. Probably not.

To Be Honest With You, I'm Honest With Me

I don't know what I want out of life. And, well, that is the one thing I've known for a while. I can't even think of a time when I truly really felt like I had a handle on what I wanted and liked and really cared about. I think basically my whole life, I have relied on others to guide me and tell me what is what. I am tired of it. I really am.

I'm 23 years old, and enough is enough. I need to gain mental, emotional, and social independence. Social independence may or may not be an oxymoron. I couldn't really say. But either way, I must retire these old ways, before I go absolutely crazy.

Not to boast, but I am generally well-liked. I mean, I have enemies and people who don't care for me, but I get along with most people. I attribute this mostly to the fact that I have an uncanny ability to scout out the similarities I have with basically anyone. Even the weirdest weirdo has SOMETHING in common with me. I've always prided myself on this skill, but as of late, I am starting to see it as a downfall. By matching everyone else, I've lost sight of myself. I am mixed up and confused as to who I really am. I want to be me and no one else, but I feel like, without anyone else...I AM no one.

I guess the first step is simply to make a gallant effort to stand up for what I believe in. I cannot cower and hide my true feelings anymore. I am entitled to my own opinion, whether it is popular or not. I cannot fear rejection. I just can't do it. I MUST BE ME!!!

Tonight I feel an overwhelming sense of excitement mixed with such a feeling of calm. It's inexplicable, really.

By the way, I just looked up the proper usage of inexplicable vs. unexplainable. Ironically (okay, I don't really know if it's ironic, as I've still yet to have solved that grammatical mystery), it was difficult to explain.

What a weekend! What can I say, really? It was an odd weekend, not in a bad way, just...odd. Friday was normal, but delicious. Matt and I went to the Japanese steakhouse, aka Benihana, and had amazing food. I had to housesit, so unfortunately, that was my next stop. It's nice making extra money, but so obnoxious to have to worry about the goings on at someone else's house. Anyway, but Friday was basically an average day. Saturday, I woke up and went shopping. There were amazing deals at the mall, and I actually ended up buying three dresses. (They were cute!) In the afternoon, in an effort to score a tan, I helped my dad spread mulch in the yard. Then, in the evening, I got ready to go to my high school reunion. Yes, we had a five year reunion--which apparently is weird to some people? Who knows. At first, about a week ago, I was reluctant to go. I mean, not really reluctant, but more like hesitant. I don't know why. I guess I was nervous that no one I was actually friends with would be there, or maybe because I felt like everyone would judge me or something. Regardless, I went, and actually managed to get Matt to go too. Truthfully, I had a good time. Sure, there were awkward conversations here and there. A drunkie every once in a while and annoyed thoughts certainly popped into my mind. All in all though, I thought it was fun. Sunday, I slept in, then woke up and came back to Sunbury. I don't really know what I did all day, but then I went to the mall to buy an iPad, which they didn't have. Then, I went to dinner with a multitude of friends (more like 6 others, including my boyfriend. I had a good time, but I think I ate something weird and/or bad, because my stomach hurt the next day. Lastly, Monday (weird that Monday is a holiday every once in a blue moon...) I went to a graduation party and then went to seek out garage sales. However, I ended up just going home, because I decided it wasn't worth the effort to scout through people's junk in hopes of finding treasure. Finally, Matt came over to use our internet and do his project for school. Unfortunately for me, reality set in tonight and I've already started freaking out about school stuff. Yippy skippy.

Lots of other random, weird thoughts and stuff running through my mind, but I'll save it for later, because I'm tired. Just felt like recapping my weekend to trick my mind into getting sleepy. I think it worked, so peace out.

I think to most people, having diverse friends means having friends who don't look like them, but still think like them.

"Oh, hey, here's my black friend. Don't worry though, because he's a Christian from a small town AND, get this, he's a republican!! He didn't even vote for Obama! Did you hear me say he is black?!"

I poke fun at myself.

Although, truthfully, I see it a lot more often from "the other side". Aka liberals who think that they are so selfless, high and mighty with their talk of diversity and free for all hippie love...it seems they are the first to shout "I hate ____!" when it comes to something they don't like. Oh yes, and slap the word "bigot" on the end of anyone's name who disagrees with them. Ah, dems.

Not that I don't like hippie love. 'Cause I do.

I need a sabbatical. I need to rid myself of all the grossness. All my nasty little habits that I don't even realize I have. Like, I need to take away stupid, pointless websites. I need to eat fresher, healthier food. I need to read more meaningful books. Get more education in a multitude of things. The list goes on and on. But really, I need to.

I wonder what my soul is like. I feel like I know my soul. I guess it is the core of my being and composed of the true, pure feelings and thoughts I have. It's unaffected by the outside world or any of my circumstances.

Even though I can't quite define my soul, I can't imagine living without it. It is me. This body, it's really nothing to me. It's like a vehicle to get me from point A (birth) to point B (death). My soul is the driver. It's me, purely me. Sometimes, I feel like I can go deep within my body and just ignore everything in the outside world. Maybe that sounds odd or like a bad idea, but to me, it's comforting.

Another thing I think about is what my life would have been like if I had been born into a different body at a different period of time in a different location. Would my thoughts and feelings remain the same? Would I continue to live life with the same values and goals? Or would I have a completely different outlook on life? I don't know. I'm not sure how much is circumstantial and what just is. It's confusing, overwhelming and interesting all at the same time. It's simply extraordinary that I even have the capacity to think about these things.

When I think about these types of philosophical questions and thoughts, it truly reaffirms my faith in God. What drives me to wonder these sorts of things, and why would any of it matter, if there was no God. I love that I have the drive and curiosity to understand and wonder about these things. It's honestly miraculous. Maybe I'm a nerd or lame or whatever, but truly I think it's fascinating.

On a slightly unrelated note, it is nice to be thinking about deeper, heavier things than the goings on between people at work. As I once read somewhere, (and I know I am butchering this quote), "Stupid people talk about other people, average people talk about events, and intelligent people talk about ideas." At least I feel a little less stupid thinking about something more meaningful...at least for a little bit...