Doodododoo (you know, like the Twilight Zone theme song...?)

Everything I've written lately has been dumb, boring, depression-fest, blah, whatever, junkville, etc. To all my adoring fans (I'm guessing at this point just myself and one or two bored people reading this), I'm sorry. I have been writing what I've been feeling (see above descriptor words). I know, however, that my stupid blog entries are not what I would call entertaining or thrilling in the least. Anyway, I'm not going to promise changes...just saying I recognize.

Sooo, I'm trying to work out some pretty complicated...math...in my head right now. It's confusing and very algebraic. Just trying to figure out the X factor, as life always wants you to do. Well, except I guess I don't really know what's on the other side of the equal sign. Wow, I feel like the ultimate nerd right now, trying to compare my life to an algebra equation. But, really though, it would be much easier if I did know what was on the other side of the the equal sign...ehhh, but sooo much less thrilling.

I just want to have everything both ways, and I am coming to realize that it's impossible to live life that way. It's also impossible to control every little thing that comes my way. I can't force things and make things happen that aren't supposed to happen. I don't know what God has planned for me. I can't keep trying to bend and contour my life so that things happen all my way all the time. That's just dumb, pointless manipulation. And if I've learned anything from Lost (zing!...Had to get a Lost reference in here), things course correct themselves. So, even if I could manipulate something my way, if it isn't meant to be, it's not going to happen. And, likewise, if it is meant to be, well it will go that way. It's just the uncertainty of it all that really bothers me.

I think I found my soulmate tonight though. Unfortunately, he was a movie character. Peter Klaven in I Love You, Man. I saw it, as well as my friends did. He was the male version of me. Goofy, slightly awkward, not that cool, but not super lame either (maybe I'm making up the last one to make myself feel good). Anyway, it was a good movie/hilarious.

Hmmmm...what else is on my mind that doesn't sound like complaining or whining or depressing or a therapy session? Uhhhhh...I'm excited to see the Blink-182 concert next month. I can't wait. I hope it's a good concert. I've been waiting for this day to come, hahah...for real though, I have. It's like a dream come trueeee!