Patterns are just an oddity. You get so used to something, and then when it stops, you still expect it. You wait for it, and when it's not there, you feel some kind of eerie sort of confusion. Something's missing. If you're like me, it really throws you off. The last couple of days have been weird. I have these urges to do things, but distract myself long enough so that it doesn't happen, because it can't happen. It's in the great book of unwritten rules, I think. My body and soul though, they're just not buying it. I guess they weren't privy to the rules. It just feels so wrong. I don't know.
I'm so imperfect. Of course, because who isn't? I'm really just not a "bounce back" kind of person. More like a soak in my own misery kind of person, actually.
One of the most beautiful things I've ever seen was the sun setting over the Pacific. Thinking about that image reminds me that no matter how bad something has been, there's going to be a beautiful ending.
I wonder if it is, in fact, possible to turn off your brain. What a crazy feeling that would be. It would be even better if it could help me get some much needed sleep. Although, I have always what would happen if you never slept (the part before you die).
Hah, "the part before you die". Sounds like a good description of life. Or a good faux emo-esque song. I was thinking today about something I've pondered before. It's weird to think that we're all dying. Every day, we die a little bit more. Regardless of whether we have 80 years or 8 years to live, we're not getting more youthful. As much as America would like to believe we can, we can't add years to our life. No matter how healthy or careful you are, time is still ticking. We all die sometime. I guess that's enough motivation to enjoy the part before we die.
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